Celoteh - Sachdar

Emptiness is now possessed, without any opportunity for me to cover the holes that have been made, no expressions of love which encouraged me to always establish the throne of my heart, a sense of boredom, pessimism became my best friend now, no positive expectations which can cure this heart.

I tried to calm the heart, cool head as though the heat makes my head almost exploded, though looked healthy, my physical weak helpless, all because my soul was vulnerable, this disillusionment with the self-shredding and anganku ideals, whether to always follow my soul, because it which makes my situation seemed to fall from the highest mountain.

My big enemy is myself, even ramadhan yesterday could not resist my desire to obey, so strong is my enemy? Or because it's my soul is weak? Right now I want to get rid of it, to face my enemy who will never stop fighting me, this self seemed strong but weak, faith is like a big creature that is ready to eradicate the enemy but in fact only a small creature helpless. Yes Lord, I beg your strength, I beg of Thee convenience, I often raise this prayer, but sometimes my heart just side with the enemy, I like playing my Lord himself, I like a little kid playing around, I'm like a child who does not understand what I was doing, what I would do, and for what I do, I do whatever makes my enemies laugh cheers for joy weakness.

But now I must be strong, the defeats are enough to make me learn to be strong, the cheers and taunts my enemy is enough to burn my spirits, I had to get up, I am not a weak soul, I was not physically helpless, I've got faith, I have Lord, I have a duty to My Creator, I have a special duty of My Creator, and I've given a variety of pleasure as a means of my war.

With the permission of Allah, I am ready to change myself weak, a creature who is always cautious to You. Amen.